Yesterday at our 10th annual Lavender Graduation, counselor Corynn Stoltenberg wrote and delivered a brief address to our graduating seniors.
It was touching and expressed so much of what the faculty and staff feel every year at this event, that I thought I'd share it with you.
If you've ever been in my office, and several of you have, 2 things are apparent: 1) shocker, I'm queer, and 2) I love plants. One of windows overlooking the river is full of orchids, which are currently in bloom. Most of my orchids were rescues, either given to me by people who had given up on them, or from a discount rack at a greenhouse. People often say, orchids are so hard to care for. I haven't found that to be true, in the right container, with the right amount of light, and water, and a lot of patience. Reflecting on my years as a Lawrence counselor, this is what I try to provide for my students - a safe container with room to grow where we practice the light of awareness and reflection together, patience with ourselves and each other, and gentle reminders to go back to the basics when things get hard: eating, sleeping, and drinking your water. But there are other life lessons I learn from plants, too.
The thing that I so appreciate about orchids, is what is inherent to them. If you saw them in the wild, you would see them growing on trees. Orchids are epiphytes, as are mosses, another favorite. They grow on other organisms and get most of their nutrients from the air, rain water, or debris. But they are not parasitic, and grow without taking anything from the host plant. Like epiphytes, we need each others care, attention, and patience to grow and blossom. Also, You are not too much, too difficult, or too sensitive, You just know what you need to thrive. Trust your gut. If it isn't the right container, find a new one.
Which leads me to my next favorite plants. My other window is full of cactus, with a sign that reads, stay weird. Many cacti get a bad rap for being prickly, but they're also so resilient, and beautiful in their own quirky ways. I think they're so queer. Just as we need each other, we can also be discerning about who gets to be close to us. I often say, not everybody's opinion gets to matter to you, especially those who do not know you, see you, or care and protect your flourishing. Many of you have probably also heard me offer the following affirmation: I will not participate in my own oppression. That means, I won't accept what you say about me as truth if it makes me question my own worth, and robbs me of my Queer joy.
There's one last favorite wise plant I want to share with you today, which is another epiphyte, and that's the Monstera, those giant leafed plants that grow wild roots that can grasp onto trees. The Monstera grow in tropical rainforests, and as they grow taller, they contain more and more holes in the leaves, so that all the greenery below can still have access to sunlight. They let their light shine through.
So as you leave here, and go out into the wild, I hope you continue to flourish, in the care and community of those who see and celebrate you. Your Queerness is your superpower, your Queer joy is your sustenance, and your light is a gift to all.
We will miss you dearly, but we will always be here rooting for you. I'm so grateful to get to be able to grow alongside you. I am a better person for knowing you, and the world is a much better more interesting place with you in it.
Congratulations, Seniors!! You did it!!
