Anxiety  (Brian Van Brunt, Western Kentucky University)

 We all feel anxious at times.  For some, it is tied to a specific situation, such as going to the doctor or taking a test.  For others, anxiety seems to be more of a constant companion, always a knot in the stomach, difficulty sleeping, and the worry that doesn’t fade, only the topic of the worry changes.

 So, what can be done?  First, try to identify what it is that triggers the anxious feelings.  For example, if you have test anxiety, are you afraid of receiving a low grade which would lead to failing the class, which would lead to retaking the class, which would lead to criticism from others, and on and on?  These thoughts can snowball if we let them.  Perhaps your anxiety mostly occurs in social situations.  Are you afraid you might say the “wrong” thing, or not know what to say at all, or do something to embarrass yourself?  There’s that snowball again.  Or if you just kind of worry all the time about everything, ask yourself what purpose this serves.  Is the worry a protection so that you feel you are prepared for anything that might happen?  Does the worry allow you a feeling of control (while it controls you)?  What does the worry do for you?

 Addressing anxiety means getting in touch with how you’ve been thinking about the thing that makes you anxious.  What are you telling yourself?  Oftentimes, how we think has become a habit.  In order to break the habit, or the pattern, or the cycle, stop and notice what you’re thinking, then stop the snowball with a reality check.  “If I fail one test, my college career is not ruined.”  “If I stay home all the time, I’ll never get comfortable with people.”  “The time I spend worrying won’t change the situation, and it’s time I could better spend in other ways.”

 Take the “what ifs” and the “yes, but” out of your vocabulary.  Remember that no one ever died from embarrassment, and that worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but doesn’t get you anywhere.  Don’t let fear and anxiety rob you of living the life you want to live!

The following material, originally titled “Twenty Stress-Crushers” is grounded in resilience building.  Unfortunately, the original source of this “Stress Crusher” list is unknown.  (Our apologies and gratitude to the author.)

 Play pinochle, ring toss, or dominos.  They’re better for you than the other games people play like “Who’s got the biggest house, most important job, or highest priced car?

Don’t hold onto dynamite after it’s lit.  Walk away from quarrels, fights, or squabbles when tempers are touchy.  Go wrestle a fireplug.  Don’t argue.  Discuss.

 Train, don’t strain.  Increase workloads and responsibilities gradually.  Don’t take on more than you can handle

 Love thy neighbor as thy old slippers.  Be casual and comfortable with people.  Accept them as they are.  Enjoy others.

 Find your funny bone.  Laugh at yourself and at situations.  HUMOR MELTS STRESS.

 So, who cares?  Maybe today, but 500 years from now?  Or even five years from now?  Put things in their right perspectives.  They may not be as important as you think

 Don’t tie tin cans onto dogs’ tails.  Be kind.  Respect the feelings of others.  Be nice to everyone.  Let relationships run smoothly.

 Go to the North Pole – Or a cave, attic, or bomb shelter where you can be by yourself.  Try to be alone for a few minutes each day just to relax, meditate or read.

 Avoid leaping contests with kangaroos.  Don’t compete with everybody doing everything.  Refuse to compare yourself to others.  Set your own standards.

 Are you a magnet or flypaper?  Do you attract positive things and people to your life, releasing them easily and naturally if they aren’t right for you?  Or, do you get stuck with a lot of nuisances and burdens that won’t go away?

 Be a big spender – With love, that is.  The more you give, the less stress you will have.

 Pity the poor worms – They get eaten by birds.  And big fish gulp down little fish.  Pour out your sympathy on those little creatures, but not on you.

 Don’t buy the cow to get a glass of milk.  You don’t have to buy an airline to visit your Aunt Emma.  Don’t make big deals out of everything.  Simply live.  Take on a little bit at a time.

 Get lost in a dream.  Always be working on something larger than the weeds by the rosebush; car payments; or dusty closet shelves.  Tomorrow’s dream takes stress out of today’s problem.

 Retire from the Supreme Court.  Get out of the human judgment business.  Why add to your stress level by useless, critical opinions of others?

 Pretend you’re on four wheels – You’d never abuse your car like you do your body!  Exercise.  Get sleep.  Booze, coffee and cigarettes don’t reduce stress – they increase it.

 Pin a medal on yourself – Reward yourself when you’ve worked hard.  Have some lobster.  Go out dancing.  See a show.

 Get a babble buddy – Find someone who will listen.  Talk about your problems, anxieties and fears without shame.

 Ride a rainbow – See something pretty in you.  It’s really quite a lovely world if you take time to look at it.

 Take slowpoke training – Slow Down.  Allow more time for tasks, getting to appointments, eating meals, and relaxation.

If you want to learn about mindfulness, Stony Brook University, Long Island New York, has information about empirical foundations of mindfulness, mindfulness training, meditation, resources, and additional links.

Tom Glaser, from the Minneapolis College of Art & Design, has created several mindfulness based relaxation exercises.

The first is Autogenics and is about 17 minutes.
Second is the Body Scan at 21 minutes.
Third is Progressive Muscle Relaxation at almost 13 minutes.
Fourth is a Silent Meditation at almost 12 minutes.

Click here to access the progressive Relaxation Exercise (9 minutes) and the Combination Relaxation Exercise (15 minutes).

Steps for using the relaxation exercises

1. Try to practice whichever exercise you prefer at least once or twice a day. Expect your ability to relax to improve as you continue practicing, and expect to practice two or three weeks before you become genuinely proficient. Once you learn how to do one of the exercises, you may no longer require the recorded instructions, and you can tailor the exercise to your own liking.

2. Avoid practicing within an hour before or after a meal (either hunger or feeling full may distract you). Also avoid practicing immediately after engaging in vigorous exercise.

3. Sit quietly and in a comfortable position, with your legs uncrossed and your arms resting at your sides. This is especially important when you are first learning the exercise.

4. Adopt a calm, accepting attitude towards your practice. Don’t worry about how well you’re doing or about possible interruptions. Instead, know that with repetition your ability to relax will grow.

5. When you are ready, close your eyes, begin listening to the recording, and follow the directions. As you complete the exercise, you can expect your mind to wander a bit—when this happens you can simply re-direct your focus back to the recording.

6. Once you’ve finished, stretch, look around and remain still another minute or two.

7. As you become skilled with either of the exercises, try applying them to specific situations that might otherwise be anxiety provoking, such as tests, oral presentations, difficult social situations, job interviews, insomnia, and so forth. If you need help learning or applying the exercises, consider meeting with a counselor.

Thanks to Steve Sprinkle and Bonnie Lambourn, psychologists at the Counseling Center of Hobart and William Smith Colleges, for sharing these relaxation exercises with us.