Quick tips for your first year student
As previously mentioned, coming to Lawrence University is a student's first major career decision. Typically, most of the first year is spent learning how to adjust to that decision. Many first year students are coping with being away from home, new academic pressures, and a new social environment, which take a good deal of time and energy. To expect a first year student to have clear career goals is unrealistic. The majority of incoming students will say a liberal arts education is what they want, and perhaps some will have preferences for the choice of an academic major, usually based on high school interests and abilities. Those who say they have already decided on a career path will probably change that direction over the course of their time in college. It is completely normal and often most beneficial for a first year student to be "deciding" about future plans.
New students usually have vague ideas about the future and are generally considering a number of often very diverse alternatives. They will typically view these alternatives as simply "right" or "wrong" and have trouble determining combinations. The result is confusion, and first year students will generally look to the Career Center staff (or their parents) to settle the matter by giving the answers to them. This confusion can also lead to a lack of motivation and, as there is little direct pressure for students to examine the career questions, they often deny the question exists.
Our aim is not to create pressure, but to alleviate it with information. In dealing with first year students, we are aware that they need time to adjust to their new surroundings, and we take a low-key, instructional approach. Programs for students do not require large time commitments and are geared to their more immediate concerns. We teach them the basic elements of the career planning process using decisions about academic majors and summer jobs as their primary focus. The major objective we have is to introduce them to the process and our office so that they know where to find help when they want it.
Parents of first year students have some adjusting to do too. It is the beginning of the end of your parent-child relationship, and this separation process can have a real push-pull dynamic to it. While your daughter or son may be physically separate, he or she is still likely to look to you for solutions when the going gets tough. Your student is both eager and scared to be independent and will go back and forth (wanting your help and not wanting it) until he or she feels more confident in personal coping skills. You may feel relief with the decrease in your responsibility as your son or daughter needs you less as a parent. Career decisions may be the least of your worries at this time.
The most helpful thing parents can do for first year students regarding their futures is to give them the time and space to get used to being at college. Allow their career indecision. Encourage them to discover new interests and abilities by trying new subjects and activities. Let them know you would be willing to discuss career objectives when he or she would like to talk about them. Suggest taking advantage of the career counseling services if your daughter or son shows an interest or is openly concerned about career decisions. Pressuring them to discuss careers or to see a career counselor before they are ready will often have the opposite effect you desire, and the subject will become one surrounded by tension.
Your first year student may come to you during the year for advice in various new situations. Try to help him or her develop decision making skills rather than providing the answers. Giving answers can put you in a no-win situation. If your solution works, your son or daughter cannot claim any personal satisfaction and may be resentful, or even worse, continue to rely on you and hesitate to develop independence. If your solution does not work, you may get the blame. Allow your daughter or son to experience the consequences of her or his own decisions and be there to celebrate the successes and to provide support during the failures. Keep in mind too that solutions that worked for you may not be the most appropriate answers for your son or daughter.