- Make a commitment to active listening. Realize that distractions may occur and that you need to be prepared for them. Remind yourself that listening can be a challenge sometimes.
- If you can, minimize outside distractions. Turn off the radio or TV. Turn off the ringer on the phone. Shut the door or window if there is noise outside.
- Try to stay focused on the content of the speaker’s message instead of getting distracted by such things as the speaker’s accented English, clothing, or nervous gestures.
- Open your mind and be receptive to new ideas. You can’t listen if you’re mentally debating or judging the speaker.
- Be empathetic. Try to put yourself in the speaker’s shoes.
- If you notice that your mind is wandering, physically shift your position a little, and refocus your attention on the person speaking.
- Maintain eye contact. Obviously, you don’t want to bore into other people’s eyes, and you may need to look down at notes or other materials. Nonetheless, making and maintaining eye contact helps you focus on the speaker. This is one of the most important things that you can do to demonstrate to another person that you’re open to what she is saying.
- Orient your body so that you are facing the speaker directly. Try not to turn away from the speaker. If you’re comfortable doing so, lean forward slightly.
- Use your face! Nods, smiles, even slight changes in facial expression—all of these non-verbal cues reassure speakers that they’re being heard.
- Before you respond, stop and make sure you’re finished listening! Has this person’s message really reached you? You also want to ensure that you are not actually cutting a person off—sometimes you will think someone’s finished speaking when, in fact, he is only pausing for a moment.
- Ask questions that seek clarification and development of the speaker’s thoughts and feelings.
- Try restating the speaker’s message in your own words. Check to see if you understand with phrases such as, "If I understand you correctly, you are saying...." and "I think what I heard you say was...."
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